Day 18 – 08/Dec/2020 – Mayonnaise, You Will Be Missed

Weight: Playing hard to get with my scale.
Measurements: The belt gave in, breathlessly shaming me in silent disdain.
Food: Have you ever tried cheddar & sour cream chips dipped in mashed potatoes? (Asking for a friend)
Motivation: Giving up certain foods is hard. It is like saying goodbye to a friend after an amazing holiday, so I wrote a little song.
I have nothing but deep gratitude and sincerest apologies to Sinead O’Connor and Prince for taking their song as an inspiration.

Nothing Compares to You – MAYO
It’s been seven hours and six whole months
since you took my abs away
I stay home every night and munch all day
since you took my waistline away

Since I got fat, I can eat whatever I want,
I can drink whatever I choose,
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant,
but nothing, I said, nothing can ever taste this good

’cause nothing compares,
nothing compares
to you…

It’s been so bland without you here,
like a soup without any salt
Nothing can stop these greedy mouth from gobbling
Tell me, MAYO, where did I go wrong?

I can get my mind around every diet I read,
but they’d only remind me of you
I went to my friends and guess what they told me,
guess what they told me!
They said: “Girl, you’d better try to have fun no matter what you eat”
but they are fools

’cause nothing compares,
nothing compares
to you

All the cabbage that you gave me, mama
from the back yard
all died at the back of the fridge

I know that living with you, mayo, will make me fat
but I’m willing to give it another try

’cause nothing compares,
nothing compares
to you