Day 191 – 30/May/2021 – Groundhog Year

Weight: More or less unchanged since my last entry.

Measurements: I had to buy a new swimsuit. I picked one based on a brilliant image in my head. The image featured me as a star of a ’50s pin-up add in a high waisted swimsuit bottoms, my voluptuous curves elegantly wrapped and supported by spandex.
That image did not successfully translate in the real world, however. Once I came home and tried the swimsuit on, the body in the mirror did not look AT ALL like the one I had in my head. My body resembled a stacking rings toy rather than an elegant hourglass figure I’d hoped for. I guess I misunderstood that “If you like it, put a ring on it” part.


Motivation: Now, don’t get me wrong, that body in the mirror did not appear overnight.
It took around fifteen months of perpetual giving up to get here where I am today.
Never have I made more plans than this last year. I have decided become a weight lifter, a runner, a climber, a hiker, a power walker, a yogi and a ballerina, all in one year. And while I was busy making plans for all these personas, life was there, happening – with all its bread and sweets and chips and beer and wine…

Now, as difficult as it is, I do need to accept the reality I find myself in and finally pluck up some strength to stick to a plan longer than a fortnight. Fingers crossed, I really make it this time around.

4 Comments

  1. If only weight gaining and losing was a sport, our time wouldn’t feel wasted or limited. It’s an all inclusive roller coaster ride, how does one feel the confidence to not care but care, or care but not care. I like to think we all ask ourselves, “what makes me feel beautiful?” But feeling, seeing, and being beautiful are different categories. Unfortunately each of us, women and men combat self love knowingly and unknowingly. I try to whittle it down to self comfort, but that is deceiving, it’s a roller coaster, ugghhhh!!!! I ramble on just to say you’re not alone sister… just wait til you get to Austin. Girl authentic Mexican food, be prepared, be very prepared.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you! I feel sometimes that changes in our appearance just show outwardly what we’re actually going through on an emotional level… Feeling healthy, strong and capable is a priority on all levels ❤️❤️

      Like

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